DEAR READER: my wife slept with my father for us to have a child

My wife had sex with my father

so that we could have the baby

we both longed for. I so regret

agreeing to it.

I am 35, my wife is a year younger. We've

been married for seven years but have been

trying for a baby without success.

We both got checked out and I was told the

problem was mine and untreatable. Our only

options were sperm donation or adoption.

We decided to go ahead with the donor option.

My parents were supportive and willing to help

with the cost, but we had no luck. My wife was

beside herself and this had an impact on our

relationship, and on my work as I found it hard

to concentrate.

Once again my parents were supportive. They

adopted me as a baby so they understood the

longing for a child, but what they said next

took me by surprise. They asked how I'd feel

if my dad helped my wife to conceive.

My wife was also shocked. Initially she turned

the idea down point blank but I convinced her

we had no option. We still had our doubts

though, as my dad is in his sixties and I did not

know if he could still perform.

We decided the risk would be worth it and

we'd go ahead, though we were both nervous.

She had never been with another man.

He took her into the spare room to have sex

but I was having second thoughts by then. I

could hear them both moaning and the bed

creaking. I couldn't stand it so left the house.

She has never made noises in my bed and this

leaves me feeling incompetent. I keep

wondering if he is better endowed than me. I

regret it all but I don't know how to put the

clock back.

Recommendations

You had a knock to your self-image discovering

you're infertile but don't let sexual insecurity

blind you to common sense. Moaning doesn't

mean happiness.

Tell your wife how much you regret urging her

to have sex with your father that she's too

special to you and you love her. Put a firm stop

to this now. Explain to your parents that this

plan is too difficult and uncomfortable.

I hope your wife hasn't already conceived

because if she is expecting your adoptive

father's child, that could be the start of your

problems. You and your mother could find

yourselves ever more resentful. Your father

could want influence over the baby.